Emotional Self Care
Erin explains what brings her in for counseling: “My anxiety has gone through the roof the past few months. I just feel like I’m not where I should be in life. It feels like I’m letting everyone down; I’ll never live up to everyone’s expectations. And on the flip side, I’m afraid people see me as needy. It’s like I’m too much and I’m not enough at the same time.”
Emotions serve a big purpose in our lives, but sometimes we give them too much power. Emotions aren’t facts about ourselves or our situations. Our emotions just let us know what our current thoughts and beliefs are.
Beliefs >> Thoughts >> Emotions >> Actions
For example, let’s say you’re having a busy week with lots of things vying for your attention. Your kids want you to play with them, your husband just asked you to whip up your specialty dessert for a potluck the next day, and your boss just emailed you that a deadline is being moved up.
If your thought is “I’m not enough; I can’t do this!,” you’ll probably feel anxious and sad. This might be manifested as feeling tension in your neck and shoulders, and you might get snappy with your kids or husband.
Let’s try reframing that thought with some of the Truths we talked about earlier.
If, in that stressful moment, you think “I am God’s child; my worth doesn’t come from my performance as a mom, wife, or employee. I am already enough in His eyes,” you will likely feel more peaceful and hopeful, which would allow you to have grace for yourself and others around you.
(Hint: The model I just described is called CBT— Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If you have trouble with this reframing process, a good Christian CBT counselor can help you. It’s common for it to take some practice and can be helpful to have an objective person walk you through it.)
Taking care of ourselves emotionally is about more than just feeling happier more often—paying attention to our feelings helps us see if our beliefs and thoughts are in line with God’s Truth.
Are you looking for practical ideas for improving emotional self care in your life? I have a whole list of ideas in my ebook. I also provide this ebook as a free resource for new clients.